Best year yet?
My theme for this year is “My Year of Awoof.” Take from that what you will.
What a month. What a rush.
15th April, 2025
Today is my birthday.
Surprisingly, it is not just my birthday. It is also 2 days to the release of my Bar Exam result.
So, technically, the rest of my life begins 2 days from now.
Happy birthday, Nofisat.
P.S. this writer is getting old. (Like really old.)
17th April 2025
The time is 10.38 am. I’m in a korope, on my way to the studio for an advanced photography class, the anxiety steadily creeping in.
Anytime i receive numerous alert for unread Whatsapp messages, my heart skips a bit.
The plan is simple. “Keep yourself busy.”.
Keep myself busy by doing different stuffs throughout the day, so my mind won’t wander. Keep busy so the anxiety doesn’t cripple me.
If my mind has its way, i would be laying down on my bed staring at the ceiling...... waiting.
However, i refuse to drown in my thoughts. I’m gonna put on a mask pretending my mind isn’t going to shit and go through my day as i normally would.
The initial plan was to stay at home and drown myself in chores, but the moment the opportunity came to attend this class, i jumped on it.
That’s how i got to this moment, stuck in a moving korope, writing this newsletter.
I might just slide into tiktok any moment from now. Nothing puts your mind at ease, like watching numerous 30-second videos.
It’s 9:01 pm and we are all waiting.
My mom and i have both gone to spill our nervous gut inside the toilet. (You at least get who i get my anxiety from.)
I hate waiting mehn, i sighed. Tesbih in hand, staring at my phone judiciously waiting for news, any news at this point.
I guess it’s back to watching TikTok.
18th April, 2025
It has been 24 hours since i saw my results.
“I Passed”
I’m happy, alright, but i still don’t feel that sense of fulfilment. (Might swing around to getting that masters degree faster than i thought. Who knows, maybe therein lies the fulfilment i seek. And if not, we will keep swinging. )
A part of me knows the reason i lack this sense of fulfilment is because i didn’t get the result i anticipated.
But I’m not about to downplay the work and effort i put into this journey. This was probably one of the hardest exams i will ever write.
I might act overly excited than i actually am. (Tbh, there’s a lot of pretence going on).
But i do deserve to be happy, and I’m gonna be, even if i have to force myself to be. Shout out to all my support system throughout the journey, i seriously won’t be here without y’all.
A good thing is that i haven’t cried yet. I know I’m still going to. That emotion is probably bidding it time before it spills out.
Anywayyyyyyys, now you can call me Esquire.
30th April, 2025
It is the last day of the month, and i still haven’t cried. I think my brain has skipped that emotion. (Perhaps, it postponed it. I will let you all know if we ever get to it.)
Now I’m at the worrying phase, currently spiralling about Call To Bar expenses.
Regardless of all the whining, sighs, and frequent complaints, these exact moments have been my prayer points for years. I prayed, worked, cried, and hustled for this.
Right from that little girl in junior secondary school who read her books up to 3am in the morning, to that young undergraduate who went to classes regardless of how bad the weather was, down to the young woman who survived law school on 3 hours of sleep daily. To that overly ambitious primary school girl who greedily aimed to collect all the awards during price giving day, look at you now.
I built this sh*t brick by brick.
I still have a lot more boxes to tick, but for now, it is all good right here.
This writer is officially on the legal job market, so you can do well to recommend me for jobs. (I’m still very much unemployed. )
To my fellow New wigs, congratulations to us. We made it. You did that!
And to the wounded soldiers, i can’t wait to see you pull through. The destination is clear, this is just a little reroute.
Signing out for the first time...
-The Chaotic Overthinker Esq🌹
Song of the Day
Endorsement by Saheed Osupa
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